Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Wanted: Statesman

The ideal candidate for the job of American statesman will have the following qualifications. He or she will have begun studying French, Latin, and Greek by the age of 9; be well on the way to fluency in classical languages and be conversant with classical literature by 14; attend a prestigious college by 16; begin the study of law by 19; establish his own law practice by 23; run a successful campaign and be elected to the state house of representatives by 25; write a best-seller in current affairs by 31; draft major state papers by 33; be elected governor of his state by 36; begin serving in Congress by 40; serve the nation as a diplomat to a superpower by 41; become secretary of state in a presidential administration – and thus be fourth in the line of succession to the U.S. presidency – by 46; be capable of founding a new political party by 50; serve as vice president of the U.S. by 54; become POTUS by 58; and found a major university by 74. Oh (almost forgot), and arrange your death on a major holiday that will forever enshrine your memory. A Google search of your name should result in at least 41.2 million results as of 5/5/11.

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Do you know any American politicians who are qualified to apply?

The above qualifications are drawn from the resume of America's third president, Thomas Jefferson.

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